"She's got fat"
"I hate her hair"
I am guilty, of all the above; I put my hands up, I'm a bitch! I bitch about people I don't like, sometimes I bitch about people I do like...go figure! I put it down to bonding, to trying to fit in but actually it's just cowardice and jealousy that makes us bitch. Yes, us- I know I'm not alone in this. Show me one girl that's never said a bad thing about another, that's never judged another girl and I will show you a girl who tells porkies.
The thing is, it's so unnecessary. It's painful to be on the end of, and it doesn't make anyone feel any better! Ok, so the girl who threw herself at your boyfriend probably does warrant a few cross words but did you say something similar to him? Have you trawled his photos on the Internet pointing out where he looks awful, what clothes don't suit him, how terrible his style is? The answer, sadly, is probably no. I hate the way bitching makes me feel when I do it, and actually it's quite painful for me to remember the time I overheard my housemates slagging me off at university. I imagine intentionally inflicting that on someone else, and I shudder that I do it daily! Now, you're never going to be best friends with everyone- that is an unrealistic dream. There are people with whom I don't agree, I don't like their morals and I detest their clothes but do I have to go on and on about this to my friends? Nope. Can I just let them live their lives as they choose because it doesn't actually effect me? Yep, probably.
I think we, as a gender, need to be kinder to one another. What the hell happened to girl power?! You know, zig a zig ahh and all of that? We're amazing creatures! In the words of Queen B "strong enough to bear the children, and then get back to business". As a midwife I see daily the incredible strength, humility and passion that women everywhere have- it doesn't matter about size, colour, race, religion...women are fantastic, why shouldn't they be made to feel so?! To risk another quote (it's a mean girls one though, they're always appropriate) "if you go around calling each other sluts and whores, it makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores". Never cool.
So, I'm calling for September to be a kind month. Every time you feel a mean thought come in your head, push it straight out and replace it with something lovely, and that goes for thoughts about yourself too! No more 'this dress looks awful on me' and less Facebook stalking that girl you don't like. Let's make September a month of telling strangers you love their hair, catching up with friends you haven't seen in forever and being kind to yourself. If a dress doesn't fit you, throw the bugger out (or sell it, recycle it, donate it- whatever) the point is remove negative things from your life and see the difference it makes to you. A lady today told me, randomly as I worked, how lovely my hair was and it honestly made my day. I sat up straighter, smiled bigger and generally felt so much better all because of her one throwaway comment. Imagine having the power to do that for someone everyday instead of bringing yourself and others down with negativity and nastiness.
It will be hard and you'll slip up, but it's worth a try right? Trying for more kindness in the world will never do anyone harm! Let me know if you're up for it, I know I will be trying! Aim for one nice comment to someone a day, and less bitching, at least. Let me know how you're getting on. Let's spread the love, ladies. If you're for giving it a go with me, tweet me or comment below.
Abigail xx