Friday 30 August 2013

Why aren't girls kind? What are you going to do about it?

"Omfg did you see what X was wearing?" 
"She's got fat" 
"I hate her hair"

I am guilty, of all the above; I put my hands up, I'm a bitch! I bitch about people I don't like, sometimes I bitch about people I do like...go figure! I put it down to bonding, to trying to fit in but actually it's just cowardice and jealousy that makes us bitch. Yes, us- I know I'm not alone in this. Show me one girl that's never said a bad thing about another, that's never judged another girl and I will show you a girl who tells porkies. 

The thing is, it's so unnecessary. It's painful to be on the end of, and it doesn't make anyone feel any better! Ok, so the girl who threw herself at your boyfriend probably does warrant a few cross words but did you say something similar to him? Have you trawled his photos on the Internet pointing out where he looks awful, what clothes don't suit him, how terrible his style is? The answer, sadly, is probably no.  I hate the way bitching makes me feel when I do it, and actually it's quite painful for me to remember the time I overheard my housemates slagging me off at university. I imagine intentionally inflicting that on someone else, and I shudder that I do it daily! Now, you're never going to be best friends with everyone- that is an unrealistic dream. There are people with whom I don't agree, I don't like their morals and I detest their clothes but do I have to go on and on about this to my friends? Nope. Can I just let them live their lives as they choose because it doesn't actually effect me? Yep, probably. 



I think we, as a gender, need to be kinder to one another. What the hell happened to girl power?! You know, zig a zig ahh and all of that? We're amazing creatures! In the words of Queen B "strong enough to bear the children, and then get back to business". As a midwife I see daily the incredible strength, humility and passion that women everywhere have- it doesn't matter about size, colour, race, religion...women are fantastic, why shouldn't they be made to feel so?! To risk another quote (it's a mean girls one though, they're always appropriate) "if you go around calling each other sluts and whores, it makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores". Never cool. 



So, I'm calling for September to be a kind month. Every time you feel a mean thought come in your head, push it straight out and replace it with something lovely, and that goes for thoughts about yourself too! No more 'this dress looks awful on me' and less Facebook stalking that girl you don't like. Let's make September a month of telling strangers you love their hair, catching up with friends you haven't seen in forever and being kind to yourself. If a dress doesn't fit you, throw the bugger out (or sell it, recycle it, donate it- whatever) the point is remove negative things from your life and see the difference it makes to you. A lady today told me, randomly as I worked, how lovely my hair was and it honestly made my day. I sat up straighter, smiled bigger and generally felt so much better all because of her one throwaway comment. Imagine having the power to do that for someone everyday instead of bringing yourself and others down with negativity and nastiness. 



It will be hard and you'll slip up, but it's worth a try right? Trying for more kindness in the world will never do anyone harm! Let me know if you're up for it, I know I will be trying! Aim for one nice comment to someone a day, and less bitching, at least. Let me know how you're getting on. Let's spread the love, ladies. If you're for giving it a go with me, tweet me or comment below. 


Abigail xx

 




All pictures are from Pinterest



16 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I'm ashamed to say I judge people within the first few seconds of meeting them, down to their hair, clothes and overall appearance. I am going try and be positive and give people complements and be an all round nice girl. Well I'll try. Good Luck xx

    Pauline

    www.beautygazer.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I'm sure you are a nice girl Pauline! Is just a conscious effort to spread the love and make people feel good instead of bad :) glad you're joining me, do tweet me and let me know how it goes! I bet you'll be surprised! Xx

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  3. I must admit too I judge people I was brought up to not judge a book by it's cover but I must admit I do it even when I do that I always find out that I'm wrong about most people! but what do you do? Girls are like that!

    http://www.bloglovin.com/en/blog/4590261

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    1. Try cancelling out any mean thoughts with a compliment said to someone out loud! You'll be surprised to notice how much more positive it is! :) thanks for reading darl xx

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  4. I'm so up for it! Couldn't agree more with what you said, I'm definitely guilty of bitching a lot myself which is so annoying. This post is incredible lovely xx

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  5. Thank you sweet! I'm determined to keep it up, do let me know how it's going! X

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  6. This post is incredible. Excellent writing :)

    There is a girl at work that I struggle to get on with, I find myself bitching about her all the time and it just eats you up! I'm not a nasty person at all and I know you can't get along with everyone but I find it really hard.

    This post is just what I needed, thank you x

    New follower :)

    How Lovely

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    1. Thank you so much Kelly :) next time you see that girl, force yourself to find something you can compliment her on? It will be much harder than being mean about her but it will make you both feel a hell of a lot better and maybe ease some tension! Let me know how it goes :) thanks so much for reading! Xxx

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  7. I love this post! What I always try to remember is, how can we expect equality for women when we are constantly putting each other down?! Surely that just makes other people think they can do it too. It feels so much nicer to say something nice then something mean. I love it when I get a compliment at work and I always do my best to give one to a colleague or even a customer at work! X

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    1. Exactly! Tina Fey had a very good point when her character said that in Mean Girls! Love this attitude, we need to spread this! Thanks for your comment Becky :) xx

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  8. Love this post I agree with everything :) I like the quotes you included too I always try and remember this one "Judging someone doesn't define who they are it defines who you are"
    Meg xx (new follower)

    peachpips.blogspot.com

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    1. that's a really good quote, what you say about someone else says more about you than it does about them! thanks for following Meg, really appreciate it and your lovely comment! X

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  9. Love this so much! Power to the sisterhood! <3

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  10. Love this post. I am really bad at taking complements and turn it in to a negative and say something like oh this is only £5 from Primark. I shall try repaying the complement instead. Thanks for sending me the link, enjoyed reading it.

    www.misslinnyo.blogspot.com

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